If you start out this way at a young age and continue to dialogue about sex with your child, your child will feel comfortable talking to you about sex as they get older.īe sure to report the incident to the other parents so that they too can make this a teachable moment. Keep in mind that age-appropriate answers do not have to be embarrassing for anyone. Be willing to answer your child’s questions as they come up. Let’s start with a picture book.” If your four-to- six-year-old wants to know where babies come from, we recommend the book: by Andry and Schepp (Little Brown, 1979). If you sense that your child is still curious, make this a teachable moment: “The body is beautiful. You are applying the same principles to sexuality as you do to all discipline matters: parents set the rules and then set the conditions that make the rules easier to follow. Our teenagers have grown up with this rule and still respect our wishes on this policy. We have a rule in our house that bedroom doors must always be open when friends are over-at all ages. Don’t allow them to be unsupervised behind closed doors. To prevent recurrences of genital play, minimize opportunities. You should never have secrets from mommy or daddy.” Begin teaching “private parts” as early as age three so that modesty becomes part of a child’s growing sexuality. “Bad secrets are when somebody tells you not to tell mommy or daddy. “Good secrets are what you have between friends” (and make up some examples). It’s good to tell mommy or daddy if somebody touches you, even if they tell you not to or tell you to keep a secret.” Teach children the concept of good secrets and bad secrets. Teach your child that these “special parts” should not be touched or shown to anyone except mommy or daddy during a bath or dressing or to the doctor during a checkup.” If anyone touches your private parts, promise to tell mommy or daddy. This concept will be important in teaching your child about sexual molestation. If your child perceives that you are uneasy about sexual matters, he or she may conclude this is a “bad” subject or these are “bad parts.” They are good parts, but they are private parts. Be aware of your own body language when addressing your child’s sexuality. Private parts are any place that your swimming suit covers. Innocent acts are occurring when:Ĭhildren can begin to learn the meaning of “private parts” at an early age when they are learning about other body parts. You can tell innocent sexual curiosity from deviant sexual behavior by these characteristics. The child is more interested in satisfying curiosity than in sexual arousal.
He wants to learn what the other sex looks and feels like. It needs a sensitive understanding to prevent it from reoccurring. Children are curious, especially about differences, and what could be more fascinating than different genitals? Understand this situation for what it is-normal childhood curiosity at work. We have had many phone calls from distraught parents who have gone ballistic upon opening a bedroom door and discovering two little naked bodies playing “doctor and nurse.” This scene, common in even the most moral and loving homes, pushes panic buttons in parents who wonder where they have gone wrong, or react so strongly that the punishment leaves more scars than the innocent “crime.” To deal with genital play between children, it helps parents to know what’s normal, what’s not, and what to do.
#GENITAL JOUSTING PEER TO PEER HOW TO#
How to Handle Genital Play Between Young Children
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